Magic Clubs

Magic Clubs hey, what's the point? And before you say your magic club gives you a +2 on Attack Rolls against Orcs you're reading the wrong blog my RPG geekoid friend. Magic clubs are as much use as a chocolate condom to a magician.

The aim of magic clubs or societies as they loudly claim are to encourage people into magic and bring about a certain communal spirit in performing magic. The websites and info put out by them seem to endorse very loudly that they are welcoming, friendly and encouraging to performers.

So why is it when you make that first tentative step in joining one you're made to feel as welcome as Heather Mills at a Linda McCartney Charity dinner?

I have to stop now and do that mundane Bloggy thing and justify why I'm 'allowed' to speak on this issue and what experience I have. Sigh. How tedious. But for years I was a member of a local club, then I joined the worlds largest magic club, then I was chairman of my local club for two years. I'm now not even a member of either. Why? They were holding me back and what's worse I was activately holding other magicians back by simply being a member of a club.

So going back to my original point, imagine there is a keen hobbyist magician who would like to meet like minded individuals what does he do? Well he types into the Great and Powerful God 'Google' the words 'magic club' and see what comes up, or he hears on the grapevine of one situated near where he lives. He enquires about joining, they seem a nice bunch. He is then told however he must now audition in front of a select panel.

Why? He clearly has a passion to learn magic and if these clubs seek to help people with their hobby why does he now need to audition? Does he even wish to be a performer? Is he nervous performing? Doesn't matter insist the club, he has to audition. And who is he auditioning to anyway? Most magic club committee members aren't even professional. They come from all walks of life. So how can they even judge what makes 'good magic' or not. Who watches the Watchmen? Why should a prospective new member have to audition to say a plumber to see if he's any good? Also what about if the prospective new member is a talented and successful magician of thirty years who has moved into the area. Does he have to audition? 'Yep,' say the committee he does. Regardless of the fact that the auditioner has more experience he now has to be judged by people who in most cases, have probably never even done a paid gig in their life.

Surely it should simply be that if you have a passion and interest in magic that should be enough.

But that's just to get in. Once in what's next? Well the new member gets to meet the other members (and some of them are total members of a different kind). Unfortunately a lot of the members have been in the club for years and are very wary of new members. You're immediately sized up and judged (again). You're normally asked to show a magic trick to any group you attempt to talk too. Alas if your performance is no good you're treated with disdain and mild contempt. If your trick fools them you are again treated with contempt and mild disdain. But at least you have the satisfaction of knowing that they'll be spending two hours tonight on Google and YouTube trying to find the trick you've done in a desperate attempt to figure it out.

It takes many months to become ingrained with anyone in a magic club. If you have the perseverance you are then pounced on by the clubs treasurer and pay your 'subs'. But there is some benefit to this. You now get to see lectures at the club or take part in their competitions! Yay!

You now get to see someone called Tommy Trumpet Trousers do his lecture. It's on balloon modelling. Oh dear, are you a 'card guy' never mind, there's a card magician next week. You attend this one and it's Bertie Bertwart, aged 87, he's forgot to bring his cards but it's ok he lends some and then sends his audience to sleep with his variation of the double lift. Which he's struggling with tonight. It's the cards you see, yep that's what it is alright. Good old Bert.

Well never mind there's always the competitions. Thing is though, who judges them? Mostly it's the club as a whole. Hmmmm as a newcomer you don't stand much of a chance really do you? And anyway what happens if you win? Do you think the other members are happy. Expect much grumbling and bitching. At least you get to tell everyone of your achievement. You can do so at a gig when you introduce yourself. I'm sure they'll be well impressed to hear you're 'Surreys Magician of the Year' or some-such.  'Hello everyone I'm Matthew and I'm Slough's Magician of the Year' cue your spectators snorting into their G & T's.

So why do they hold you back you may ask? Well the trouble with clubs is they can dent your confidence. Your friends and family may have been encouraging and telling you you're good, but some of the individuals you will meet at the club are very territorial and back biting. They will actively seek to ruin your confidence as they're desperate to cling onto their perceived pecking order in their small little world. Even if that's not the case I've seen some talented magicians and accepted members become completely immersed in the clubs. Spending time on competitions, attending lectures left right and centre, etc...

Because it all boils down to this. As a performer surely you would get more benefit performing magic at a gig, either paid or free, one evening a week than attending a magic club. You will learn more about how to perform to an audience in that one evening than in all the time spent at competitions or boring lectures at a club.

And now if you'll excuse me I'm late for my club meeting tonight and must dash. The chairman of 'Dudleys Puppetry of the Penis Club' can be quite a stickler on timekeeping don'tcha'know.....